stay with me.

My title is like that because im literally listening to stay with me right now.

Sigh. I know that moving on is definitely not an easy journey or whatever but i feel like i have been FOREVER stuck on the same position as i previously was before. i definitely would love to move on and forget about all of this... but the thing is i dont know why, i just cant let it go. every night i keep thinking about everything that might have happened and about what we almost had together. Which brings me to my next point where i have been tremendously suffering sleep problems. even when i am extremely exhausted and tired out, i still cant sleep! i have no friggin idea why, my mind just wont stop running. i hope that ill be able to move on pass this step so that i can fully rest myself from all this shit.. every night, when i want to sleep, i must watch a few clips or videos before falling asleep. or maybe even just listen to a few songs and i will swift away to dreamland. but these days, maybe it's because i keep distracting myself in the day which makes me tend to think about everything that makes me sad at night. anyways, these few days i cant sleep. i dont even use my phone anymore when my timer for my music is used up. i still cant fall asleep. normally, i set my timer to 15 minutes of songs and by the time it reaches the 3rd song, i would already be shut. but right now, not even an hour of songs can allow me to fully sink in bed. I really hate this. It is no fun at all. I really want to sleep and rest but i just cant. because i know that you are awake, watching something, thinking about someone else, being sad (the same as me , but towards a different person) in other words, i just know that you are friggin awake and i want to talk to you so fucking badly. sigh i sound so desperate from all of these words but yeah just venting out what i feel... 

Anyways, IGCSE examinations is in like 37 days? yeap, im so screwed! the whole holidays, i have done nothing productive or anything good for my brain! hahhhahahahha yay me.. seriously so crewed and i need to start going back to study. wish me luck sobs. 

goodnight, x.