I saw everything

To I-dont-really-find-the-hype-about-pizza boy,

I noticed you saw me but you acted like you didn't. I knew you purposely took the other way to exit because you didn't want to walk pass me. I saw your food ready at the counter next to my order, yet you waited for me to collect my food and then only you went to get yours. Months ago, you tried to walk me to my class, yet you pretended none of that happened because you got teased by your friends once. We even walked back to the train station together along with our friend yet you acted as if we were strangers who didn't even know each other. We talked for a few days, yet, you don't even want to face me irl. You knew our classes were next to each other and you purposely kept yourself hidden back in the class hoping a conversation between us wont happen. We were just opposite of each other and you don't even want to glance my way, not even once eventhough you knew i was just right there.

Sucks how all of these little small things affect me so much and yet these thoughts don't even appear in your mind.
Sucks how I always fall into these traps of feelings and end up losing my mind.
Sucks how the person you like love someone else and before you even want to try, it's already a game over.
I swear, if the game was open, I would play it till I ran out of tokens, but the game isn't even open to begin with so how do I even try or how do I even express myself to you?
After all of these, how do I even look up to you and be friendly with you?
I know you know that I have a little something towards you. It's unfair how you acknowledge it yet pretend you don't.

You thought I dont know anything, but I knew everything. I am trying my very best to swallow your reasons for doing all of that. So many possibilities, what could be the right cause? Because you didn't want to look me in the eye and say hello? Or was it just an unplanned coincidence? Or maybe you didn't want to know me in public? I am fucking confused and I keep on repeating the scenarios in my head, wanting an answer so desperately yet I have no fucking idea how to get closer to the answers.

Please tell me soon, please grow some courage to at least tell me you have someone so that I can move on faster and easier. I can't move forward without knowing the reasons for me not to stay.