I didn't go over it, I got through it.




Yeah, I know it's hard to remember, the people we used to be, it's even harder to picture that you're not here next to me. You say it's too late to make it, but is it too late to try? and in our time that you wasted; all of our bridges burned down, I've wasted my nights, you turned out the lights and now I'm paralyzed. Still stuck in that time when we called it love but even the sun sets in paradise.


Sports day's a blast, so many great memories and pictures! we hit a perfect routine. and its just a performance, long way more to go. NYD, Cheer Clinic, Cheer 12, Charms Cheerleading Competition.
















^ Most favorite photo of Sports Day '12! <3 2012 base.



With green cheeries!

Charity dinner: fun + hectic  + memorable. should i say to be heartbroken or heart mended? I have totally no idea. but if i had a chance, i would relive it and edit some mistakes i did. choices and decisions to be changed. so i wont have to live the dull life i am in now. why? i dont know. i am not even sure if my feelings are positively correct. and what my heart tells me to do? it is both. so how can i?



















cause bow/ ties are too mainstream!





im a perfect arm rest.



only 6 people from our class went. ^







Rayvens '12!







^ the best picture of all. congrats to yinthyme and bryan! :'D



So, ups and downs lately. Misunderstanding, impatient and confused. Sour faces, bad moods, stressed out life. 3rd pimple popping out because of all this hectic stuff going on. Busy, busy, busy. I just wish that I'd a time machine, relive that moment, undo somethings, edit some decision making, have fun with someone else. Cause if i had the chance to, i would. Now, I'm just living the pain of making the wrong choice and I didnt even know I made it all horrible like this. Feel like killing myself for making this stupid way to happen. ugh. Headaches nowadays, what happened?

Even feeling lonelier and more lonelier every single day. No one to eat with, no one to talk to. just silence the whole long way at home. Even HOME, the place where everyone you truly love lives, i can talk to no one cause these days, it's just me at home. why did all this suddenly happen? Why do i have this sudden feeling of everyone else's feeling? Like I'm someone else and i'm imagining more things. Like I'm not myself anymore. Magic? or is it the headache? Getting weird visions lately. What's wrong with me? sigh.

Suppose to be studying now, but what really is the point? If i do, im gonna forget it, and even if i do, i won't be able to top off the others. just taking my time off. my brain feels so saturated and full of information. Not enough of sleep every night. been waking up at 5 again. I'm sleep deprived and ugh dont mention it :( stress the whole way. and im not the type of girl who gets stressed easily. Cheer 12 is in a month, thats gonna give me more of those. it's hundreds of people. HUNDREDS. H=U-N-D-R-E-D-S of people E-X-P-E-C-T-I-N-G from you and hoping that we wont D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T them with our performance we have been preparing for N-I-N-E months. the fear of disappointing their expectations are the WORST. Hundreds of people counting on you to retain the title and even the school board and principal. Pressure is kill.

Ahhhh, i know i ve mentioned to appreciate life and all. but sometimes it can get abit too lonely that you separate yourself in the outside world not only from your friends but your closest soul mates. I dont even talk at home, not even a single sentence unless I'm asked. never. cause no one cares? everyone's too busy with their own business. and also getting annoyed by alot of things. irresponsible, rude, annoying, frustrating, troublesome, noisy, lazy people. if you have done a mistake, please, correct it as you may. don't just leave your trash hanging over there and expect someone to pick it up for you. because im always the one who picks things up. bottle my feelings up, hide my anger inside. ugh. it burns like fire and hell inside my  heart to want to punch that face and correct you.

If there is two last wishes in the world, i would wish for my whole family to be healthy and safe. I would also wish for my life to be how I want it to and stop all this shit to happen. It really sickens me already, again and again. I've been too strong to take another one but I'm too weak to continue taking it in. No words can fucking describe how worn out, tired and sad i feel now. 

Goodnight and good luck to all for Mid Terms.
-xo